28 Jul 2010
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Later that night I met an Episcopalian priest (to whom I later confessed my travel sins) from Virginia. No joke. He's a cool guy and we got down at the California Soul/British Invasion/Best of today's hipster rock/Cute girls running around in 60s style house dresses, dance club. The next day we went to the Tate Modern, another great museum, and to Speaker's Corner. This place is great. All the nuts (and sometimes not so nuts) get up on chairs (I guess soapboxes are passe) and profess their profundities for all to listen and to argue with them. 
Here are my customary shots around town. You can see Westminster Abbey, the London Eye, and Buckingham Palace among them. 
'Hey kids, Big Ben, Parliament'
And of course, the great monuments to our 'special relationship.' George and Abe. Seriously, these guys have more than enough history to put up some homegrown heroes, right? Well, on behalf of the USofA, I take it as a compliment and thank them. I suppose we do have a 'special relationship' afterall. I mean, they commit troops to Iraq and we honor the Union Jack by making it the official flag of punk rock.
So, this is it. Long, strange trip, yeah yeah. Sad and happy, yeah yeah. I hope you enjoyed this blog. Thanks for the comments. To everybody back home, I can't wait to see you. Please come visit me in Wayne, before I head down to Margate for the summer, as I'll be recovering from minor surgery on my toe (see Vienna blog entry) and unable to walk or drive. And to everybody I met on this trip, thanks. You've changed me for the better. London Leavingtarnhop's barhopsMon, 10 Jul 2006 16:22:00 GMT Back in the Dam.I have to admit that this place was more enjoyable4 years ago when I was a little younger maybe.Now it kind of reminds me of Greenwich Village with hookers, just as much grass, and just as many goofballs.I ended up exploring parts of the city other than the red-light district and surrounding areas full of coffeshops, hitting up some parks, and open air markets.I even pulled 'She Blinded me with Science' for 2 Euro so get ready come next house party.And I took in a good movie with my Mexican and Columbian friends, some of whom I had met earlier in Berlin.Put 'Hi, Mom' on your netflix queque.Bobby De Niro at his funniest. Here are a few shots from around town. 
And a few more of the crew.In that last one we are drinking tea made from Coca leaves that one girl had brought from Columbia.We had an interesting discussion about the importance of the Coca leaf in the diet of the indigenous peoples of her region.Bascially, these people are just another casualty of the Drug War.But the tea is good.Helps you breathe. 
Never let it be said that Amsterdam is without a sense of humor; check out the A-Style emblem.And here is the longest line I've ever seen at an ATM.It's like out of a Chris Rock special.You can't have late-night vice without an ATM nearby. 
The funniest thing I saw however was not the group of friends waiting outside the window to where they had sent their buddy and clapping and cheering upon his return with shouts of '6 and a half minutes' but was actually this guy holding up his girl who was nearly too drunk to stand on her own volition.This guy though, had to balance his desire to keep his girl vertical against his desire to order from the kebab stand.He managed to get her on her own feet and told her to stand against the wall.She, however, kept sauntering straight along the street and after dude made his order he realized he'd been abandoned to her drunkeness.He chased after her.I don't know if he ever found her but I can't help wondering about that kebab.Did it ever get eaten and was it as good for the next guy as it would've been for him? Well, I'm nearing the end.London Calling...and then Newark Homecoming.Amsterdamtarnhop's barhopsSun, 09 Jul 2006 07:31:00 GMT More like, no sleep in Berlin.If you get more than a few hours each night you are a lazy and undedicated party enthusiast.Although, you could go nocturnal.I met up with Rob and his crew of Technophiles from Detroit and Chicagowho all live in or are visiting somebody in Kreuzberg, the Turkish neighborhood with all the best nightspots.It was a relief not to be forced to endure 'Hips Don't Lie' and the like to which I've been repeatedly exposed this trip but I will say that if I heard one more person use the word 'minimal' to describe a track, I might've flipped out and started a Jay-Z binge.Just kidding.I knew I was in the right place when this guy, who I'm told is a very big techno producer (everybody is making music there but 'very big' is bigger than 'big'), with a glob of ketchup on his chin, almost as big as his chin, flopped his hands around and exclaimed 'Pah-tee, pah-tee, pah-tee and now I eat sometink andmore pah-tee' when my friend asked 'what's up.' The day I arrived, Germany defeated Argentina in the quarterfinals of the World Cup which made for a good night of celebration.Here are some fans en masse.That giant soccer ball is in front of the Brandenburg Gate, the symbolic gate from West to East as it stood along the Wall.I think that this is where JFK gave his 'Ich bin ein Berliner' speech in his best Mayor Quimby voice. 
Here are more shots around town.The Bears are an exhibit featuring one from each country around the world.The big building with the giant glass dome behind it is the Reichstag, the German parliament that mysteriously burned down when Hitler seized total control and more recently it was wrapped in plasticwrap by Christo and Jean-Claude, everybody's favorite mega-scale artists that brought us the Home Depot inspired Gates in Central Park.The tall spire is in Alexanderplatz and it is a good landmark if you get lost.You can see it from just about everywhere in this massive city (8 times as big as Paris) because Berlin has no skyscrapers.The last pic is Molecule Man, this giant statue next to a bridge. 
Gorlitzer Park is the most run-down park I've ever seen but that's it's charm.Right in Kreuzberg, it provides a nice backdrop for a BBQ or just your usual cracked-out picnic. 
I didn't get many shots of us from the clubs but here are a couple of Monday night (the only night when nothing is going on) so you get the idea. 
And what trip to Berlin would be complete without a visit to the Wall.Most of it is in bad shape but I like this representation of the famous man-kiss between Breznev and the DDR leader.The Checkpoint Charlie museum honors those who escaped and attempted escape to the West.Below is a shot of the famous checkpoint itself. 
Berlin is a great city, possibly my favorite big city in Europe.It's a place a New Yorker can live and I think Rob picked well.Good music, good people, and good (bad) fun.I'm glad I made it and I hope to go back sometime because, hey you can walk down the street drinking a beer everywhere in Europe but where can you walk down the street drinking this? 
No Sleep 'til...Berlintarnhop's barhopsThu, 06 Jul 2006 07:13:00 GMT I'm still in Sweden; so we're all caught up.I've had a good time here and I've been able to get get the R&R I've needed.I think I've adjusted to the Nordic midsummer day.Speaking of midsummer, it's actually a holiday here--Midsummer, celebrated on the weekend following the summer solstice. As soon as I got into Uppsala, where Ken has taken a flat, we headed to Marsta for a traditional Midsummer holiday.Some Swedish friends of his took us in, fed us, and treated us like royalty.Swedish hospitality is second to none other, as far as I'm concerened.We built the Midsummer Stag which is actually (no joke) an upside down penis.After all, this is a harvest holiday and you can't have a good harvest if you don't fertilize mother earth.The boys gathered branches to cover the Stag (upside down cross) and assembled the cross.That's me below digging out a hole for the Stag with an iron spike.That's Ken pretending to be Bruce Lee.The girls gather seven different types of flowers to place under their pillows and dream of the man they will marry but they mostly just made wreaths for all of us to wear. 
After setting up the Stag we danced around it, sang songs in Swedish, and played traditional games (which it turns out are a three legged race and an apple-in-the-spoon relay race). It was good fun and we followed up with a bountiful dinner and a walk around the Marcus's grounds where we caught this great view of the sky.Then we played this really cool game called Kubb.It's like Bochi Ball and Horshoes but way better.I'm definitely picking up a set when I get back. 
We followed up our wholsome fun with a visit to Stockhom's Musea Modernat to see Paul McCarthy's latest experiment in depravity.If you'll remember back to the Guggenheim in Bilbao when I mentioned a lewd Santa Claus photo, it turns out that that was Paul McCarthy.Once again pictures were forbidden but I did manage to snap a few.Here is a mechanized guy humping a tree in a fake forest (looks pretty real, huh) and two fiberglass sculptures of fruit-headed people with enlarged genetalia.If you look between them you can catch a glympse of MJ and Bubbles immortalized in chocolate fiberglass. 
Here are a couple more photos from around Stockholm.It's a seafaring city with an archipeligo off the coast and bridges connecting the major parts of town.In fact, they have a museum which houses an exumed, seventeenth-century vessel of the Gustavus Adolphus's royal fleet.this thing sunk over three hundred years ago; it was the pride of the fleet, kind of like the Titanic before the Titanic but this one sank after about 300 meters and never made it to battle with Poland. Ha! 
Last night we threw a housewarming party at Ken's place.His friend Andish from Gottenburg is visiting as well, so we called up a few people, cooked a feast, and drank the leftovers from another friend's party.Unfortunately we couldn't buy alcohol because we had not brought our passports and the ridiculously strict, state-controlled Swedish alcohol shops wouldn't sell to us before closing up at 6pm.Here is a shot of Ken trying to convince the manager that 'rules are made for people' and not the other way around.There's another shot of party aftermath and another of Ken and Andish stumbling around the next morning. 
That's it for now.I'm stoked though becuase next stop is Berlin, the European capital of electronic music.It's also a bit crazy right now because I'll be there during the World Cup.Germany plays Argentina while I'm in town.And it's gets better.Rob Van Valen a/k/a Rollin' Rob a/k/a Cobra has officially relocated to Berlin. We'll have to get up and tour the town together.Swedentarnhop's barhopsThu, 29 Jun 2006 10:03:00 GMT I only spent a couple days in Helsinki.As you've probably noticed, I'm rushing nowadays.My July 11 flight from London to Newark is rapidly approaching.Couple that with frequent bouts of midsummer induced insomnia and you've got Stange Days.And what could be stranger than me, the guy who scored one point all season on the 8th grade basketball team (I banked a free throw), boarding in Helsinki's Olympic quarters.They've converted the rooms to a hostel.Here is a shot of the Olympic tower and soccer field below. 
The Sibelius monument was a short walk away so I took advantage of the long day and headed over to take some pictures.I think this monument was meant to resemble organ pipes. 
And just when you thought you'd seen them all and you're completely J.FA.C.'d out, it comes form nowhere.Well, actually, it comes from Helsinki and it's the coolest church I've ever seen with the notable exeption of La Sagrada Familia.The Temple Church is built into a rock hill and from a certain angle, it looks as if the ceiling is supported by nothing other than rays of light.See for yourself. 
My next couple days were spent hanging out with an American I met in the hostel and a Canadian who I had met in Tallinn.We met up after he caught up with me in Finland.The coolest thing we saw was at the Contemporary Arts Museum.Helsinki is known for it's design community which is a big thing for RISD grads and SoHo patrons alike but the Contemporary Arts Museum is it's real treasure.One of the coolest things I saw was this horse.At least it used to be a horse but now it's sewn up without limbs or orifices to resemble some creature probably found in an issue of The Maxx.You could even pet it if you wanted; eww. 
I left Helsinki by means of the Galaxia cruiseliner.This 17 hour boat tripis reknowned for extreme drunkeness as both the Fins and the Swedes take round trip excursions just to get wasted and come home with cheap, tax-free alcohol in huge quantities.No joke.I saw grannies with carts full of beer, liquor, and cigarettes.You'd think they'd buy at least one box of chocolate or a bottle of perfume but these people are hardcore.Not having been here in the winter, I think it's not impossible that Scandanavians actually hibernate and when they come out in the summer they are ready for one long day of drinking. One lady was so drunk she couldn't get back to her room and she was holding onto a railing.I tried to help her but the only words she knew it English it seems were 'help me.'I kept saying 'how, what do you want me to do' but she was so drunk she kept saying 'help me.'We gave up with a mutual shrug and a smile.I saw her later with her old, drunk friends sitting on the steps and we smiled.I don't think she could manage to get off those steps if say a meteor hit and we all had to flee for our lives but at least she was comfortably numb with her buddies and, really, isn't that what we all want anyway? 
Here are a couple shots of friends I made on the ferry. 
Najib there was overjoyed when Ghana defeated the U.S. ousting us from the World Cup but no hard feelings.You've got to respect a guy who roots for an entire continent of teams. I arrived in Stockholm exhausted and in good spirits, ready to take up residence with my friend Ken who I met in Lithuania a week before.Helsinkitarnhop's barhopsThu, 29 Jun 2006 09:36:00 GMT After leaving Warsaw I briefly visited each of the Baltic capitals.First stop was Vilnius, Lithuania for some mild villany.It's a pretty nice town with a main street that serves as a catwalk for the most beautiful women I've ever seen.I managed to look at a few buildings and statues though. 
By now you must be as tired as I am of castles and churches so now, something completely different. Below are a couple pics of the continent's most unexpected monument, the bust of Frank Zappa. 
There are several stories about how this thing got built but they all involve a gullible, post-Soviet Lithuanian government, a group of highly devoted Zappa fans, and a possible Vilnius performance that never happened.At any rate, the local government footed the bill and now Frank gazes proudly overlooking a Baltic parking lot.Maybe I can get Margate to build a Thomas Dolby monument in the hope that he will rock the beachblock. 'J.A.F.C.' he said.'Huh,' I replied?'Just another fucking church.'Meet Ken.This guy has been travelling all over Europe for the last year.He's from San Fransisco (via China) and now lives in Sweden.We met in the Vilnius hostel when he was donning these sunglasses that double as an mp3 player.Look out for the new model which he will be selling; they will beam a ray directly to your retina so you can watch movies and see through the glasses at the same time. 
Later on Ken and I went to the Casino where we both lost.It would've been interesting to try out the blood pressure machine pictured above, at that time.We did however see a cool car show as well. 
After Vilnius I went to Riga, Latvia.My hostel (and I have a feeling the whole town during the summer) was dominated by British stag parties.Warning, these are not cool.Drunken Brits suck, especially when their latent homoerotic tendencies manifest themselves as spittle expelled during a friendly conversation.Here is a shot of the supercute hostel receptionist leading packs of stag party guests to a club.I opted out at the last minute ;) but this photo is classic. 
Still the hostel was cool because they arranged a trip to a shooting range in an ex-Soviet bunker.I fired six rounds each from a pistol, an AK-47, and a shotgun.Man, the shotgun has some serious kickback. 
Here are some shots from around the hostel.See if you can figure out the last one. 
On my last night I met Olly, a Brit who has lived in New York and now plans to live in Moscow after having a hot girl teach him Russian in Riga.We went out all night (which only last a couple hours this far north) and much of the next day.He showed me the ropes as he had lived in Poland before and had a little more experience in Latvia than I had. 
After Riga I went to Tallinn, Estonia.This place is sold as a medieval, old-town vacation spot for Scandanvians.There had been a Metallica show there the prior week so everybody was overjoyed to have the normal tourist crowd back.Although, I can see why Metallica chose this spot.It's a bit of an odd place.For instance, Tallinn features the Depeche Mode Bar.The inside is decorated with Depeche Mode memorabilia.The drinks are named after Depeche Mode.The music, well of course.But the TVs all play Depeche Mode concert footage as well--not an occurence to be shrugged off when considering the World Cup fever currently gripping Europe.Here are a few shots of my new favorite bar and some of my friends from the hostel. 
The hostel was very cool.It had a sauna and a mini-golf course upstairs.We also had a water gun fight and blew some bubbles. 
Another thing I saw was Geordi La Forge on the big screen in a Irish Pub.Now that's pretty freaky. 
Not to be outdone by the 60 meter high toilet in the tower guarding city hall.This way guards did not have to walk downstairs to get the job done. 
A few more shots from the town and now I must go because the internet cafe is closing. 
The Balticstarnhop's barhopsTue, 27 Jun 2006 13:26:00 GMT Lately I've been a bit lax about keeping up the blog thanks to a combination of bad computers, expensive access, nearly interminable daylight and subsequent lack of sleep, and of course good old fashioned, American procrastination coupled with booze. Oh, don't they go together; like black and white on a mime. But here goes, all the way back to Warsaw. Like the title says, I only spent 24 hours here. It's a big city, one that Poles will tell you not to visit because it's too big. Despite staying longer in Krakow than I expected, I figured at least one day in Warsaw should be requisite for such a trip as this and although I didn't do too much and didn't meet too many people, I managed to do some sightseeing.Here is a pic of the Old Town square to be neatly contrasted with a shot of a modern square. 
And here are a few more shots around town. 
I like the last one. This undulating ceiling belongs to the train station or maybe an associated shopping center. It's difficult to tell because that place is a maze. Sometimes train stations can be rough, especially when you don't speak the language but I think Warsaw wins the award for most difficult to navigate and book passage. I waited in lines for over an hour before the attendant helped me find a train with a one minute layover for a connecting train at which point I decided to take a bus to Vilnius, my first Baltic capital.24 Hours in Warsawtarnhop's barhopsSun, 25 Jun 2006 16:33:00 GMT Just to keep ya'll up-to-date, I've decided to attend Brooklyn Law this fall not Fordham. It was a tough decision (money vs. rep) but I think I made the right one. BK, baby. Keeping You Up-to-Datetarnhop's barhopsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:59:59 GMT First of all, you say it like 'Cracov' and although I did once pass a place called the Krak Motel, this place is pure class. Between the beautiful old town, hearty, cheap meals, the wealth of chic bars, and of course the good people, you could easily spend more time than planned here. I did just that. I arrived at the hostel with Jeremy only to find the place dominated by Aussies. They even branded us. 
And then they forced us to go out with them for several nights in a row. Do you think 'reserwacja' means reserved? Oh well. We managed to make better use of that sign, anyway. 
The very blonde guy is not an Aussie; His name is Rush, he's from Austin, he's a good sport when you sing Paula Abdul lyrics to make fun of his name, and I think Right Said Fred said it best becuase dude is 'a model, if you know what I mean.' He can't help but to strike a pose every moment of the day. Big ups to Rush. 
We did manage to escape the clutches of the evil, partygoing Aussies for a little sightseeing. If you'll remember way back to my Granada, Spain blog when I posted some photos of the public exhibit there, you'll see a similarity to the sculpture in Krakow's main square, posted below. The same Polish sculptor made both giant head sculptures. 
We caught a parade full of dragon floats and we headed up to Wawel Castle where I took this shot of a little kid running around. 
The old Jewish section of Krakow, called Kazimeriz, is full of candlelit bars, traditional Jewish restaurants, and a few old Jewish synagouges and cemetaries. Here is a shot of the wall of one cemetary; it's made from broken tombstones. This place was actually used as a garbage dump during the Nazi occupation but, they've restored it quite well.
The next day, we took a trip to nearby Auschwitz and Birkenau. It's difficult to describe what happened there 50 years ago, so I'll leave the task to better writers. Bascially they recycled people. It's good to note, however, that the tour bus was full and I'm told that's often the case; people haven't forgotten. After Jeremy left for Budapest (see my previous blog entry for his story) I made friends with Asia, the hostel manager, and decided to stay on a few more days in Krakow. She put me to work as I accompanied her to government and newspaper offices, Ikea, and the local monstermart. Somebody must have arranged this couple in the throes of cheap Swedish meatball passion for my photo below. 
But being the good host she is, Asia also took me out to loads of good bars, a hostel opening party, and a house party. Here a few pics. I like the last one where she is surrounded by gay dudes. Hey, it was the best Electroclash party I've ever been to. 
One day Asia took me to a nature exhibit with aquariums, little frogs, big frogs, ant-hills, miniature coral reefs, iguanas, and more.
It was a great day because we also did a little record shopping and saw a parachuting demonstration. These guys were aiming for a target in the middle of the big square and a few acutally hit it. 
Here are a few more photos around town for your enjoyment before my Zloty runs out at the cafe. Wall of art. Fire breathing statue. Me, drunkenly kicking in this guy's car (no, it's not real; is it?). View from a hostel balcony. And of course, my bad ass Band-aid. You're bound to end up with a few cuts and scrapes when you trade in your Czech influenced beer preference for White Russians and Zubrovka and Apple Juice. 
Long Stay in Krakowtarnhop's barhopsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:59:59 GMT Jeremy accompanied me to Krakow before moving on to Budapest. Here is an excerpt from his email about his journey on the overnight train. This guy is cool as a cucumber in Miles Davis's fridge. FYI for non-Aussies: knackers means nuts. You can call somebody that but only a friend or it's pretty disrespectful, like calling someone a testicle. I was already aware of the risk of taking a night train to or from Poland, and the stories circulating the hostel had me paranoid, as they not only included thievery, but gassing and even decapitation. But I had to take it to get directly to Budapest so I toughened myself up. The fact it was 6/6/06 didn't help. I said bye to Dan who was heading to Warsaw and the Baltics, locked up all my stuff and was on my way. The train ride seemed fine, I had a carriage all to myself, chained my big backpack to the racks, and heard the door every time a ticket inspector or border guard opened it.About 5:45am, just before we pulled into Kosice, Slovakia, I awoke after a 2 hour sleep to find a moustachioed man had carefully pulled open my door and was now leaning over me to get a better look at my small backpack at my feet. He was about a second away from grabbing at it! (That would've woken me for sure - it was padlocked and strapped to my leg.)'G'day Knackers,' I said. (remember, trying to get Aussie accent back)'Sorry,' he said and backed out into the corridor. He was making signals to someone along the way, as the train pulled into the station. He stuck his head back in.'Budapest?' he asked.'Um... What is the capital of Hungary!' I jubilantly exclaimed, having never been a guest on Jeopardy before. The now very confused, slightly scared would-be thief made a hasty exit. Jeremy 1, Train Thieves 0. I sat back contentedly, but decided to remain awake for the rest of the journey.Jeremy's Storytarnhop's barhopsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:59:59 GMT Prague is the most touristed city in Eastern Europe with good reason. I was lucky enough to stay with Jeremy, my Aussie friend who I met in Ljubljana, at his apartment during his last few days in the city after finishing his English teaching certifcation course. He and his roomates showed me around town from the 13 kr (50 cent) beers to the best photo ops to the megaclubs where the DJ actually dropped Can't Touch This with no sense of irony (I think). Despite the continual rainfall and cold coupled with my open-shoed bravery, we had a great time. My first day I headed up to the castle on the hill, probably Kafka's Castle seeing as he once lived a block away. The coolest thing I found up there was the Old Royal Palace. This was a seat of government 1000 years ago and the only wooden palace I've yet seen. Pretty impressive and featured below along with the more modern looking garden surroundings. 
The next day at the Kafka museum, which seemed at first pretty silly because it featured few interesting historical documents of Kafka's, we found some cool stuff. The exhibition focuses on Kafka's life, his relationship with his overbearing father, his repeated noncommittment with women, and his general feelings of oppression. It's hard to describe in words his life and its relationship to his work, much of which was never completed; I know firsthand from college when I chose to build a project describing The Castle rather than write a paper on it. And I must say that the Kafka Museum's exhibit was of the same high quality as my project if not better (thanks to a bigger budget, right?). Here are a few of the best photos we took there followed by a pic of the statue outside the museum I like to refer to as Swinging Dicks in a Pissing Contest. The hips actually move back and forth while the hands move their extremities up and down. 
Prague has great statues all over town appropriate to its slightly eerie post-Communist and Medieval styles. The last pic below shows a few of these statues that line the Charles Bridge. You can find a new statue every 10 meters or so if you manage to wade through the tourists. 
We were able to duck a lot of the tourists at the Wallenstein Garden which is not to be missed by any photographer, music lover, or basically anybody who likes green. Below is a shot of the garden wall which looks a bit like a drip sandcastle but when you look closely you can spot a few faces here and there. We wandered a bit to find a concert in the garden, which is a real Beer Garden as they sell the stuff from nearby stands, as well as a peacock doing the same--wandering. 
Prague gets even weirder with its modern edifices. Along with Frank Ghery's building, you can find a TV tower that looks like something from the Jetsons and upon further inspection, you'll notice its covered in babys. A local sculptor added them as a temporary exhibit and the townspeople liked them so much it became a permanent feature. 
But the best macabre I saw was outside Prague in a town called Kutna Hora. There is a crypt where the crazy, monk bone-artists put to shame the creator's of Rome's Cimatario Cappucini. That last pic is a bit Pirates of the Carribean I think. 
And of course, you can't have fun in a weird town like Prague without constantly drinking cheap, cheap (and tasty), cheap beer. Here is a shot of Budvar (also known as Budweiser and allowed to keep the name despite an international lawsuit from our friends back home in St. Louis) not to be outdone by champagne at Jeremy's course completion party. 
And with alcohol comes total capability and downright sexyness. Or is it confidence? I can never remember. Here are a couple shots of such displays: Jeremy with a couple of Prague locals at a club and his roomate Celeste reaching Nirvana on the dance floor. 
OK, one more sophmoric, artsy photo. Hall of mirrors, baby; it's like a Donnie Darko carnival, this town. 
Next, Jeremy and I head to Krakow for the weekly weekend celebration.Praguetarnhop's barhopsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:59:59 GMT Grand Vienna, the seat of the Holy Roman and Hapsburg Empires, frontier against the Ottoman menace, and the cultural center of Europe for centuries, is a sight to behold. From Motzart to Beethoven to Hayden to Falco, all the musical greats have paid their dues in Vienna. OK, I'm being a little flippant. Vienna is pretty cool but I think you'd have to be a certifiable Germanophile to get really excited about all that stuff. Then again Rock me Amadeus is pretty boss and Vienna does have a lot to offer. On my first day I saw a pretty magnificent garden behind the Schloss Schonbrunn Palace. And I got to see my very first, official, European hedge maze. This labyrinth was a touch difficult but I was able to re-trace my steps on the way back without error thanks to the excellent navigational abilites I acquired under duress while travelling the roadways of the Southwest with my father. 
I also checked out an apartment building designed by Hunderwast. This guy abhors straight lines and is big on avoiding color patterns, as you can see. 
The next day, however, I left Vienna for the Hungarian bordertown of Mosonmagyarovar. 'Why?' you might ask. Well, this is why. 
Unfortunately, I've been travelling since Slovenia with an in-grown toenail which has only become more aggravated thanks to nearly uninterrupeted walking and dancing. At the time, I could barely walk and when on the train from Budapest to Vienna, I met a Hungarian doctor who suggested I visit her hospital it seemed like a godsend. Unfortunately her colleague, the podiatirst, did not want to operate but instead cleaned and bandaged the wound and provided me with unlikely instructions for recovery, ie. not walking for 10 days and possibly going home early. Like a true adventurer, however, I persevere and as I write this I'm wearing flip-flops complete with bandaged toe in the most inappropriate of climates. All you Aussies, I'm sure, are proud of me. Needless to say, I tried to take it easy while in Vienna to avoid the incredible shame and powerful lameness of going home early due to an in-grown toenail. That meant spending lots of time at the hostel where I met many travelers, mostly Americans, Australians, and British. Here are some shots of the nearly completed, slightly hazardous, new hostel and its drunken inhabitants. I especially like that last shot of the wet stairs leading to the bar partially obstructed by a ladder. Nothing spells F-U-N like alcohol and ladders. 
I did manage to get out to see some of Vienna. Here are a few photos taken around town. The last one is actually a news ticker--very Sleeper-esque. 
And I took in a little of the bric-a-brac we call culture. If not the gran ole opery, I got to see Freud's report card on display in the museum that once was his home and I visited a gallery for an exhibition of Kiji's friend's photos. 
And to top it all off I saw the famous clock at Hoher Market which presents a new likeness ranging from Marcus Aurelias to Maria Theresa each hour, on the hour, through an extremely slow parade along the numbers of the clock. At 12pm all the tourists gather round to see all 12 figures move along their tracks across the clock face. This thing, almost a parody of itself as it plays grandiose, classical music, is just begging to be parodied by Disney. I'm sure somewhere there exists a design for a similar clock with the smiling faces of Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, and the rest. Below is a shot of the clock after the procession's end. Notice the time, 12:14pm. This thing moves at a snails pace which only heightens its goofyness and serves to embarrass the throngs gathered to witness the spectacle. Like I said, it helps to be a Germanophile, in this place. Still, and depsite my injury, I had a good time in Vienna hobbling around town and getting tipsy at the hostel with my fellow travellers. 
Next stop is Prague where I'm meeting up with Jeremy, the Aussie I met in Ljubljana who proclaimed Gay Pride Worldwide to an internet audience of tens via my blog and his own.Viennatarnhop's barhopsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:59:59 GMT Budapest is like the St. Paul of the Hapsburg Empire. The lesser of two twin cities but the better. OK, I totally made that up. But Budapest is cool city. It's big, has a decent nightlife, and the people say the English 'Hello' for goodbye and 'Sziya' (sounds like see ya) for hello. I stayed at a hostel close to St. Istvan's Basilica. Yes, another church in Europe but this one came accessorized with the namesake's mummified hand. This guy was the king who converted the Magyars to Catholicism and probably cut a deal for sainthood in the meantime. And now you lucky people can see the badly (but somewhat) illuminated hand thanks to my 100 Forint deposit into a nearby slot--very haunted house. 
The city is historically two, Buda and Pest, separated by the Danube River so as you can imagine, they've got some good bridges. Here is a nighttime shot of one. 
In the background you can make out Buda Castle. Underneath is a labyrinth used for well, whatever labyrinths are used for. The rumor is a king used to let loose his wives down there to wander and wither once he got tired of them. Sounds like they borrowed that story from Henry VIII but the labyrinths are worth a trip today because they play spooky music, adorn them with fake wall paintings, and there is even a pitch black section you get to feel your way through. Here is one of the more Myst-esque rooms followed by a shot of Fiona drinking from the gross wine fountain down there in the depths. 
My first night was the Champion's League final. That's soccer for all ya'll 'Mericans. And we watched the game at an Irish Pub, of course. It turned out to be a pretty exciting game. Here is a shot of us outside the pub before going to a club. 
The next day I visited a nearby town, Szentendre, where the local Marzipan museum features masterpieces that actually are entered into contests for this sort of thing. Here are two of my favorites: the King of Pop made of marzipan and, appropriately, white chocolate followed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. MJ is lifesize. 
Budapest is full of statues. It seems like every block has another. While all the Soviet era statues were removed to a nearby park, here are some of my favorite in the city as well as one from the park. I'm sure you can guess which one. Have you even ever seen a female sphinx before much less one with a face in her hands? The last one isn't really a statue. It's a pirate climbing the wall of a gun shop. 
Some local tree fuond on the banks fo the Danube sheds these little white balls and they float through the city from May into June. Here is a shot of a bunch of them gathered by a step but imagine the air full of them, throughout the city. Weird. 
They didn't impede the atmosphere at the giant open-air clubs however. Here is a shot of Darren, from the hostel, with his Hungarian friend Andraa. 
The club was so good that when I met up with Kate, my dad's best friend's daugther and my childhood friend, I took her and her friends back there the next night. 
I had a great time in Budapest and like all these places, I'd like to go back someday. Here is a final pic of one of Budapest's claims to fame, the oldest subway in Europe and from the looks of it the deepest underground. 
Budapesttarnhop's barhopsWed, 31 Dec 1969 18:59:59 GMT Croatia's Dalmation Coast is a cheaper, less touristed French Riviera. Incredibly beautiful and a great place to spend a week if not three, I think the name comes from the Archipelago 'spotting' the coastline but even with a name like Crap Islands this place would rock. I met up with Tina, from the transformed prison hostel in Slovenia, in Split where we took in a public concert featuring Cesara Evera, a popular Portugese singer. After wasting a night at a club full of teenagers with sunglasses and superbly geled coifs, we went sightseeing in the palace. Much of the city is inside the palace walls built for the Roman Emperor Diocletion. There are some underground tunnels which I imagine may have been quite spooky (especially if you were a Christian waiting to be fed to a lion) but today are filled with a flower exhibition. 
A nice day on the relaxing if somewhat breezy beach and we caught a bus down the coast to Dubrovnik. Dubrovnik is a bit like Venice--a touristy Disneyland for adults. Instead of trapping you with water, however, they herd you into Stari Grad (the old city) and warn you about leftover landmines dotting the area outside the city. We still managed to have a good time and the place is very beautiful. We saw what were purported to be Jesus's diapers. I didn't have the heart to ask if they were his baby diapers or the ones he wore later on when he was preaching. And we even took in a movie. Tom Cruise tried to top his previous couch jumping antics by jumping between skyskrapers in M.I.3. Here are a few shots of us: Tina's portrait with a piece of found art, her attempts at fire eating, and me demonstrating just how alone (and subsequently, liberated) we were while smoking our cigarette. The last shot is beautuful Dubrovnik seen from outside the old city walls. 
From Dubrovnik we went to the island of Hvar where we should have spent the entire week. Not yet the party season, we had a great time going to the beach every day and cooking dinner every night in our rented apartment. 
Here I am on the scooter I rented. Notice the absence of Tina on the back. Well, this was my first time riding a scooter which is really fun, by the way. Due to a minor accident in the morning when I was still learning, Tina refused to go near the thing all day, despite my obviously improved abilities as the day progressed. 
Needless to say, we rented a car instead the next day and travelled all around the island. Intending to see Roman villa remnants, Illyrial Burial Grounds, and natural caves, we took a scenic drive over hills and through tunnels to beautiful beaches and small villages, one of which is guarded by two dogs that nearly took a chunk out of me. Here are some photos of the island. 
And here is a map of Hvar complete with legend so you can see for yourself the many sights the Tourist Board claims exist despite our inability to find just one. 
Still, we had a great time. Here is a shot of me right before I robbed a beach cafe 
Y.E.onDOMReady(show_notes_initially); 
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